The green fairy and I are breaking up for good this time
So I spent all of today suffering pretty bad. I went out drinking last night, got in a fight, yacked on my floor...same old bullshit. Didn't take my medicine last night and spent today feeling ashamed of myself and depressed. Spent a lot of today in the fetal position hating myself and feeling so dumb. This has actually been happening a lot recently after a night on the town. Whatever benefits or freedom I got from drinking or drugs before are now nonexistent. Drinking just makes me more anxious, self-conscious and depressed. I'm pretty sick of making an ass of myself. I don't even know why I keep doing it. Its like this compulsive thing that i keep doing even though i know better and even though i have to suffer every time for it. I really wanna stop now. I'm hoping that telling you will help motivate me. I do get edgy sometimes because of work, but 1 glass of wine is enough to help me chill out. Also, I wouldn't mind saving that $75-100 I usually spend on a night out and spending it on something more enjoyable like painting supplies or a day at Canada's Wonderland.
Hope you're doing well and learning from your mistakes
I like your blog. Great Article....Daniel
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