So I stopped taking my medicine for about a month or so and it was great for about 2 weeks. I was flying. I flew high above the clouds and then I ran out of gas and crashed down to earth. It hurt. I was completely depressed and delusional. These highs that we get when he stop taking our meds are so tempting, but we always crash in the end and become self destructive. These medications make us tired and numb and no wonder we get the urge to escape and experience the mania we love.
My best results of not taking medication were when I would take it from monday to friday, then go out on Saturday (without taking it), and then start taking it again on sunday. On sunday I would usually have a really good day and it would be my reward for taking my medication all week. Although sometimes that sunday would be so good that I wouldn't want it to end. I'll think, "maybe i'm fine now."
I started taking my meds again yesterday as a little voice deep inside of me said, "Dude, this is not how you want to live your life. Take your pills now."
Will I ever learn?
Hope you're smarter than i am.
